2ND INNINGS

Officially on my way to kick start the second innings of life's journey 😊 No idea how many times I keep expressing about my belief in the saying - EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. Unhealthy mental health takes a toll on anyone and everyone but no one speaks about it or are rather scared of being judged and made fun of. I was the same up until now. Whole of 2021 and 2022 was probably the worst for me when it comes to health issues. These two years have also been the biggest learning years that changed me completely as a person 😃

There are those times in life when you are so focused on proving things to your family, friends, society, colleagues and all random people about your capabilities as a person that you tend to lose focus on what exactly your purpose in life is. Every learning of your life doesn't have to be about experiencing it first hand, you learn a lot from other people's mistake as well. Its taken me nearly 33 years (oops, I disclosed my age 🤪) to realize a lot of things in life and to as well focus on what takes priority. I'm no longer in a hurry to finish one project & move on to the next, I'm no longer putting my hands into a lot of things, no longer after social validation, no longer thinking what my family & friends think when I keep posting about my little achievements & happy moments. To the people wanting to see from an insecured point of view, I'm happy to oblige & post more about my achievements (kidding 😄 or maybe not 😂) Tired of repeating mistakes and tired of giving explanations to people who don't deserve an ounce of it. I'm trying my best to learn from my mistakes & become a better version of myself. 

The direct & indirect form of hate & jealousy that comes my way with most of my posts used to bother me at one stage & I used to think of changing myself for the sake of other people only to impress them so they are happy with me. What a fool right? Yes, we all are and that's how we learn. I'm pretty sure in this process of learning, I will make further mistakes until I realize what's best for me but hey isn't that how everyone learns? I would guess at least a few of you are in the same boat as me. 

To the people thinking why am I speaking of all these things suddenly, what am I up to now, what’s with all the realizations, if everything is good in the hood etc etc, yes everything is definitely good in the hood. I have understood by now that speaking about mental health takes a lot more than the existing courage for some people and i'm definitely one in those "some". The fear of being judged, the fear of being laughed at and the fear of being made fun of is what stops people from sharing their deepest thoughts. 

When I decided to come out in public about being a depression survivor not once but twice in my lifetime, I had way too many thoughts that stopped me, again it's the fear of being judged, fear of not being able to give it back to people who would make fun of me or look down upon me etc. But then again, you have to gain that courage one or the other day. After several attempts, I'm finally ready now to speak about how seriously things can affect you when you are in depression - the severe side effects of anti-depressants, the sudden weight gain due to the steroid treatments, the panic attacks, the suicidal thoughts & multiple attempts to end one's life, the self harm and what not. For anyone who thinks depression is a joke, need to get a reality check themselves. When I decided to speak about it publicly within my circle, the first thing that came to my mind was to get back to writing blogs and I reminded myself that I'm trying to do this with a good intention and I have to stop worrying about what anyone thinks. Once I made myself understand this better, words started flowing one after the other. Even if my posts going forward helps one person to go back & reflect on their growth to learn things or to come out and seek help, I would feel extremely happy. 

It's very common for people to fail in their attempts to probably secure their dream job, their passion project, a skill they thought they could learn and so many other things. I failed too and at one stage it used to bother so much especially when I stopped blogging and also when I stopped my food website. People laughed at me, they spoke all sorts of things which hurt me a lot that time. It's only recently that I reflected back on some of those incidents and I realized what a fool I was giving importance to all those people. Whether I passed in my attempt or failed, I am at least so happy that I have tried so many things which has given me exposure in so many aspects. It has taught me what is right & what is wrong, it has shown me who is with me regardless of whether I achieve something or not. So, instead of feeling bad about what I couldn't achieve, i'm glad I can at least proudly say I tried so many things in life and also gave it my best regardless of whether it worked for me or not 😊 

Talking about depression & mental health is still a taboo in our society as half the people don't understand how important it is and the other half don't want to be bothered even if they understand. Its easy for all of us to pinpoint someone and say they have changed, they are not the same anymore. But it’s high time we go back to ourselves and reflect on what might have caused that change. There’s no harm in reflecting on ourselves, our behaviors etc and strike an open conversation with the people who matter to us. This is a hard lesson which so many of us would have learnt. 
It's my sincere attempt from now on to slowly bring awareness among my circle. I'm not focused about changing any person because "change" is a huge thing. I'm no one yet to change anyone. All my attempt is to make people stop, think & reflect on things. Once done, it's totally their choice if they want to change for the good or not. But even if one person stops & thinks, I would be more than happy for the effort I’m putting. If not now, then it's never. Somewhere someday I had to do this, so i'm choosing to do it from now on regardless of what comes my way or who says what 😊

In the coming months, I’ll be collaborating with a few others who are genuinely interested to help people like me to take that first step ahead. I will be working on bringing out content related to mental health/depression and hoping to make people stop & reflect. The more mentally healthier we all are, the more physically healthier we will be. So, the motto of my project would be SRA- STOP, REFLECT & ACT. 

So, here’s to the beginning of a wonderful 2nd innings because everyone deserves a second chance 😊